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What Mental Illness Looks Like in My Family
Category: Family
Tags: Family

Mental illness runs in my family on my mom's side and my dad's side. On my mom's side, members get diagnosed with psychosis, schizoprhrenia, or schizoaffective disoder, plus addiction; and on my dad's side, members have anxiety, depression (crave chocolate), and also addiction. I have addiciton on both sides. So I don't trust taking xanax or anything addictive because I have chronic mental illness, which means it is not going away. And these symptoms need a long-term solution, not a short quick fix like xanax. I need therapy and probably some psychiatric medication, just not addictive ones.

My grandma might have had bipolar disorder with psychosis. She once told me that her nurse prescribed antidepressants to her while in the hospital (she went to the hospital after she would purposely hurt herself in order to get pain meds from the doctor). My grandma fought back about the antidepressants, telling the nurse that they upset her thinking and she didn't want them. The nurse did not listen and prescribed antidepressents anyway (perhaps the Dr. prescribed the meds and the Nurse just followed orders). Well, after the nurse gave my grandma antidepressants, my grandma started to experience odd thinking, delusional thinking.

I will expand. She specifically thought that a black baseball player for the Tigers was our grandpa. And she thought the tv was talking to her. And she had paranoid delusions. All because she was given the wrong medications. And she might never have been properly diagnosed because her mind was always in an altered state or chasing an altered escape.

Drugs were huge in my family growing up. I just thought it was normal for my grandma to take speed and I thought it was okay for my mom to beat me daily when she was in a rage. It felt normal. And then when I got older, I didn't want to bring children into this world because of my family. That is just the plain truth. I was not sure if I even wanted to have kids, but the idea of my mom and dad and uncle and sisters and cousins all trying to love this kids, when they could not love me, or worse, they will write off my kids. So I never had them. But I might.

My grandma had severe mental illness and died from a xanax overdose while out in the hallway at a retirement facility where she lived. That was her life. There is so much drama in my family. So many people do not like the others. No one likes me. And you know what, I don't care. I'm still going to say that mental illness is genetic. But it's also environment. And I would be building my child up. My sister will not explain Jesus or God to my neice. So I did. My other sister shares what she knows but she doesn't know much.. And my other sister, she is the youngest and doing well. But she was atheist while living with my mom.

I have to overcome all this drama and realize that my family does not define me. My soul, my personality, my dreams, my vision, that is what defines me. I was told by a psychic healer to no longer call "my mom" as my mom but to instead say "the mom" because my mom was not a real mother growing up. She was in two relationships with two men, probably on drugs, up some days and so kind, down other days and would beat the shit out of me. And as an adult, I have a disability. I was homeless a little over a year ago. And my mom allowed that and even praises herself for her actions.

I just want to hold a mirror up to her and be like, this is you. That is what I am doing with Brite Haven. I'm tearing down their balconies and I am going to be on the same level and I'm going to talk about the neglect, abuse, drug use, mental illlness, addicitons, cheating on people, all of that exists in my family.

They look at me as a lost cause. I look at them as being born among my enemies. Had I self-medicated my mental illness away, like my entire family does, than maybe I would never have ended up in mental health treatment. Me choosing meds is me staying away from hardcore drugs. I always refused to use hardcore drugs when I was younger and as an adult, it does disgust me. Because I see a spirit. I see a soul. I see someone who is killing the ability to speak to their soul because they are high. This life will be over before I know it.

I have to stop looking back. I have to wear rose-colored glasses and see spirit all around me. I have reincarnated several times and I would refer to past life moms as the mom. So I will simply adopt that practice with her. She is the mom. The mom of my life now=====we are not even friends. We love each other. But we come from love and will return to love and we are supposed to be helping others have a happy journy. I need to work on healing. That is the point of writing and returning to my writings. To heal.

Is It Okay For Your Children to Take Psychiatric Mediications? Some Thoughts on the Topic! Tags:childhooddisorderspsychiatricmedicationgreymatterbrainlosscopingmechanismstalktherapy
I am annoyed with people and their response to mental illness. My family, I am annoyed with their response as well. Everyone wants to keep mental health issues as hush-hush and think that talking about it openly produces trauma. The only trauma that truly exists is the inability to express your frustrations with whatever you are struggling with, whether it be mental illness, diabetes, or heart disease. There needs to be a forum for mental health issues to be discussed and that is the point of Brite Haven. You can create a profile using a pseudonym and feel free to express yourself fully. We need a safe place to talk about these issues and we need to bring everything to light. Mental illness exists and I've known way too many people who died from a mental health disorder. I can think of five people who were diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder that have died from suicide. That is just way too many. You get to know someone, you suffer the same things, and then that person just disappears from your life, because of an early death.
People die from mental health issues just as they die from heart disease or cancer without treatment. And we need preventative care. We need to address mental health symptoms before they become full-blown episodes. There have been times when I could not afford my medication and I therefore did not take them. I ended up in the hospital and recovery took about 6 months to get back to a place of stability. And my mom wanted to put me in a home. She wanted me on disability. She did not want me out in the public for fear of what I might say about our family.
So I created a platform, a place to discuss pain, trauma, mental health diagnoses, support or lack of support, etc. on Brite Haven. This is a safe place to vent, to express yourself. People do not want to hear about mental health issues. Kids are prescribed medications and we do not know the long term effects of these medications. These medications destroy grey matter in your brain. Your brain loses weight from these meds, it shrinks. And I can't imagine how someone would think it's okay to give to kids so readily. Talk therapy should be the first consideration, not meds. These kids have not defined themselves and if they are symptomatic, and severe, I suggest meds. But not as a first response. We should exhaust all other avenues to recovery before we give out antipsychotic or ADD meds to children. We should work with children at their levels. I think we need to homeschool children more too. But with both parents working, that is nearly impossible.
We are so quick to medicate. So quick to push the person aside and shove pills down their throats before these children are given a chance to heal. Children are empathic and take on the worries of their parents energetically. Perhaps the parents need counseling and need to learn how to respond to their children without these damaging medications. I started taking these medications at 27 and no one tried to talk sense to me. They simply medicated me to shut me up. But I did not shut up.
And I refuse to shut up. For the rest of my life, I will support mental health treatment because it saved my life. But I am against medicating children. I think that is laziness on the parents' part. I'm not saying that at times it is necessary. But from experience, parents get tired of the outbursts from children and look for an easy solution, such as medication without considering the long term effects of these medications. Once you try to quit the meds, you relapse. Your brain is also sicker than it was in the first place because these medications destroy grey matter in the brain. But you know what else causes the loss of grey matter? That would be not treating episodes of mania. If you suffer from mania, and it goes untreated, that can destroy grey matter in your brain. So it's really worth considering if meds are right for you and that answer should be self-directed and self-given by the person who is experiencing stress. If you want to start mental health treatment, know that it helps you to be stable, clears your mind from the clutter of negativity that often accompanies mental distress. Treatment saved my life.
It's a lot to consider. Should children be given medications? So young and they will be stuck on these meds the rest of their lives. These medications can make the brain sicker and this can produce symptoms such as anger, outbursts, delusions, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and homicidal tendencies. That is the side effects of these drugs, once you stop taking them or if you build up a tolerance, these symptoms can appear. And these symptoms are easier for an adult to experience than a child. I think a child should be educated on things and given a voice in treatment. They should know what these meds do, the children, before they suffer long-term consequences. We should be more focused on talk therapy than prescribing medications to children. Teach them coping techniques and educate them.
I fully support mental health treatment. But I know the dangers of it too. And I think we need to make people aware of these facts. This way, people can choose with more education and experience and what they really want out of treatment. Children deserve to have a voice, too.
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